我经过了， 看过了， 试过了， 体会过了才清楚我要的是什么。。。 爱不是一切， 过错的我痛了才要来保护什么是最重要的。 开心的是我长大了， 可是我也不敢了。 爱了， 算了， 还有什么值得期待的？
About Me
- Alexisher
- Well.. it's kinda hard to describe myself with words. Let's just start it ^^. I am Alexis, 19, Sagittarius, living and working as an artist. That's all, I guess you can find out more about me on what I have said online. Have a nice day and thanks for reading. Hope you do enjoy the process.
Friday 23 December 2011
我一生最大的夢想
就是能在臨終的時候跟一個人說，我愛了你一輩子。
相守到老不離不棄的不一定是愛情，但愛情一定是相守到老不離不棄。
有絲為縵。
有草為蔓。
有水為漫。
有言為謾。
而心有一人，就慢了。
我一生中最喜歡的有三樣：光，微笑，和未遇見的你。
是那個人，不說他也懂。
不是那個人，說了也沒用。
是那個人，不解釋也沒關係。
不是那個人，解釋也多餘。
是那個人，不留他也不走。
不是那個人，留也留不住。
是那個人，不等自然會遇到。
不是那個人，原地也會走丟。
以為蒙上了眼睛，就可以看不見這個世界。
以為摀住了耳朵，就可以聽不到所有的煩惱。
以為腳步停了下來，心就可以不再遠行。
以為我要的愛情，只是一個擁抱而已。
天堂也好，地獄也好。我只想找個地方停靠。
感覺現在太累了，動不了了。
現在你就算笑著向我伸出手，我想我也沒那麼多力氣去夠著了。
你不是我，不懂我的感受。
我不是你，不懂你的感受。
我試著讓生活變得簡單，
對幸福或寂寞順其自然。
偶爾傻傻孤單，偶爾傻傻浪漫。
不怕大喜大悲那麼難負擔，
不想再背負太多期盼。
不能醉， 因為沒有人讓我來依靠。
不能倒， 因為沒有人會扶我起來。
允許我流一點點眼淚， 讓我看得更清楚。
告訴自己拼命堅強，努力微笑，依然相信。
依賴是一個很可怕的詞。
它可以叫人毫無防備的陷進去，
面對著所有的事情毫無抵抗的能力。
當你習慣了這個人，
那麼他突然的離開會叫你覺得渾身血液被抽光般呼吸困難。
孤單是你想約朋友逛街，結果發現朋友已經約了別的朋友，於是他對你說抱歉。
孤單是你再也不會為一個人的生日而費盡心機地去挑禮物。
孤單是你再不會因為書裡的情節和自己的故事相似而大哭一場。
孤單是我站在這條經線，而你站在那一條經線，我和你之間隔了幾點幾個時差。
有些東西我們會輕易的遺忘，有些東西我們會深刻的悼念。
有些東西轉身走的頭也不回，有些東西纏繞在身邊永不離開。
總有孤單的時候，總有寂寞的時候，總有幸福的時候。
然後孤單。
我想我很倔強，我認定的事怎麼都不會改變。
我想我很固執，明明知道是錯了卻還要堅持。
我想我很偏激，我的想法有時候特別的極端。
我想我很自私，總是只向自己開心的方向去。
我想我很平凡，平凡的讓人不容易給予愛護。
*这是我在网上看到的， 很有意思so我就copy & paste在此了。 希望这能帮助你表达你的心所要表达的事。
相守到老不離不棄的不一定是愛情，但愛情一定是相守到老不離不棄。
有絲為縵。
有草為蔓。
有水為漫。
有言為謾。
而心有一人，就慢了。
我一生中最喜歡的有三樣：光，微笑，和未遇見的你。
是那個人，不說他也懂。
不是那個人，說了也沒用。
是那個人，不解釋也沒關係。
不是那個人，解釋也多餘。
是那個人，不留他也不走。
不是那個人，留也留不住。
是那個人，不等自然會遇到。
不是那個人，原地也會走丟。
以為蒙上了眼睛，就可以看不見這個世界。
以為摀住了耳朵，就可以聽不到所有的煩惱。
以為腳步停了下來，心就可以不再遠行。
以為我要的愛情，只是一個擁抱而已。
天堂也好，地獄也好。我只想找個地方停靠。
感覺現在太累了，動不了了。
現在你就算笑著向我伸出手，我想我也沒那麼多力氣去夠著了。
你不是我，不懂我的感受。
我不是你，不懂你的感受。
我試著讓生活變得簡單，
對幸福或寂寞順其自然。
偶爾傻傻孤單，偶爾傻傻浪漫。
不怕大喜大悲那麼難負擔，
不想再背負太多期盼。
不能醉， 因為沒有人讓我來依靠。
不能倒， 因為沒有人會扶我起來。
允許我流一點點眼淚， 讓我看得更清楚。
告訴自己拼命堅強，努力微笑，依然相信。
依賴是一個很可怕的詞。
它可以叫人毫無防備的陷進去，
面對著所有的事情毫無抵抗的能力。
當你習慣了這個人，
那麼他突然的離開會叫你覺得渾身血液被抽光般呼吸困難。
孤單是你想約朋友逛街，結果發現朋友已經約了別的朋友，於是他對你說抱歉。
孤單是你再也不會為一個人的生日而費盡心機地去挑禮物。
孤單是你再不會因為書裡的情節和自己的故事相似而大哭一場。
孤單是我站在這條經線，而你站在那一條經線，我和你之間隔了幾點幾個時差。
有些東西我們會輕易的遺忘，有些東西我們會深刻的悼念。
有些東西轉身走的頭也不回，有些東西纏繞在身邊永不離開。
總有孤單的時候，總有寂寞的時候，總有幸福的時候。
然後孤單。
我想我很倔強，我認定的事怎麼都不會改變。
我想我很固執，明明知道是錯了卻還要堅持。
我想我很偏激，我的想法有時候特別的極端。
我想我很自私，總是只向自己開心的方向去。
我想我很平凡，平凡的讓人不容易給予愛護。
*这是我在网上看到的， 很有意思so我就copy & paste在此了。 希望这能帮助你表达你的心所要表达的事。
Thursday 7 July 2011
Love
I realize I still love my ex. It's probably one of the best things happened on me. We may be unmarried but we were like soul mates, a real couple. At the same time, I know that I love another guy very much. I may be fall in love often but I did love with all of my hearts most of the time in almost every relationship. I did cheating and betraying but now I just wanna fall in love with the one. It may sound strange but I do enjoy every moment with scorpio guys. My ex is scorpio, so do the one.
I gonna love 'seriously' this time. I have to prevent a thing calls jealous. Do not misunderstood of what I am saying. Yes, I still love my ex but I know there is future for me and the one. I do not wanna see this two relationships get ruined by non-sense. And I will continue treating my ex as my friend. I never know love is so dramatic and beautiful. I never realize I can love a man so deeply. All I wanna do now is treat the one well and work things out together. I do enjoy every moment with him. He always make me smile and he makes me feel perfect. Maybe one can be perfect when he or she has found his or her soul mate. Haha... maybe?
I gonna love 'seriously' this time. I have to prevent a thing calls jealous. Do not misunderstood of what I am saying. Yes, I still love my ex but I know there is future for me and the one. I do not wanna see this two relationships get ruined by non-sense. And I will continue treating my ex as my friend. I never know love is so dramatic and beautiful. I never realize I can love a man so deeply. All I wanna do now is treat the one well and work things out together. I do enjoy every moment with him. He always make me smile and he makes me feel perfect. Maybe one can be perfect when he or she has found his or her soul mate. Haha... maybe?
Thursday 23 June 2011
A Better Time
Someone told me I should take the control of my very own emotions. She said everyone can be emotional but it's up to you to turn things emotional or stone yourself and think for a while. Yes, her words were working well on me and I do realize how silly have I been living. Emotions controlling is something everyone should has learnt so that silly things could be avoided and people will live happier with lesser stress. ^^ cheers for it because this may be something you need now.
My life isn't that sucks, in fact it's kinda good and the only things I would have to worry about are wealth and the final exam. I have not been editing and posting anything lately but I wonder is it really matter? I do not think people will read my blog, haha~. However, this should be some place I can write about the stuffs in my head and my emotions. The relationship of me and a BBF (she's a girl) is getting better and better... and I know it would be bad to miss someone like her. I am confused by this relationship because the feelings are weird to me... it's like.... hey, do I have feelings toward her? For God's sake, I do not dare to think about it! Maybe it's too heavy for me to absorb quickly. And of course, I do hope the relationship will not be ruined by the feelings... .
I am obsessed with smokey eyes lately. Yes, I do wear light smokey eyes when I am getting out. I love brown but not heavy smokey eyes and dark brown bold brows. It matches me so much, plus I do have brown eyes~. HAHA!
My life isn't that sucks, in fact it's kinda good and the only things I would have to worry about are wealth and the final exam. I have not been editing and posting anything lately but I wonder is it really matter? I do not think people will read my blog, haha~. However, this should be some place I can write about the stuffs in my head and my emotions. The relationship of me and a BBF (she's a girl) is getting better and better... and I know it would be bad to miss someone like her. I am confused by this relationship because the feelings are weird to me... it's like.... hey, do I have feelings toward her? For God's sake, I do not dare to think about it! Maybe it's too heavy for me to absorb quickly. And of course, I do hope the relationship will not be ruined by the feelings... .
I am obsessed with smokey eyes lately. Yes, I do wear light smokey eyes when I am getting out. I love brown but not heavy smokey eyes and dark brown bold brows. It matches me so much, plus I do have brown eyes~. HAHA!
Tuesday 14 June 2011
Damn Bad Mood! Fuck!
My fucking sister got me into bad mood AGAIN! What the hell!? All I did was asking for the money for the exam preparations and she was like she will not pay a single sen for it. And she probably will blame me for not getting graduated and getting a full time job after that. But what can I do when she did not do what she was supported to do? Who will pay the payment? And I knew I can get nothing much without money.
Ok, let's forget about that bitch. I guess I have met someone who is good for me. He asked me to go on a serious relationship with him but I did not accept because I think its better to know more about him and let him learn more about me before we really step into the more serious relationship. Well, I gonna keep secrets about me. So all I can say is although he does not look good but I am sure he will be a good lover.
I never know why love things come so fast to me and sometimes I do think that love is like a game. But please do not misunderstood me as a playboy. I do like to spend most of the time on love and I always put it before almost everything and sometimes, even myself. I am thinking of moving to Taiwan and get a brand new life there after 3 years of hard working and life experiencing in Malaysia. So that means I gonna save money and plan well to get the plan succeed. Why do I choose Taiwan? Perhaps its because its a great place to me. I love the style... its like you can be yourself and you do not have to do much lies. What will I work as if I were in foreign country? Well... always the same, a professional stylist.
I have to admit I am an emotional person who spends most of his time on emotional problems and always got himself suffered from these stupid problems! >.< AHHH!!! After writing these emotional things, I feel much better now and peace has return back to me. Honestly, I have been obsessed with Bruno Mars lately. The reasons? Well, he is nice and making great songs and music. He is doing so well and I really love his songs especially Grenade and Just The Way You Are. I have to say something about Grenade. Its touching yet hurting. Its an emotional song and I guess I can understand the feelings in his song. I always love emotional songs and I love to sing these songs although sometimes I really got pulled down (the moods) by the songs.
I do not know what will come to me. All I want is peaceful lifestyle and someone who really cares and loves me will remain loyal and faithful to me. I have been betrayed by someone in love and I do not wanna see the same things happen again. God bless you and you guys! Bye bye~ ^^.
Ok, let's forget about that bitch. I guess I have met someone who is good for me. He asked me to go on a serious relationship with him but I did not accept because I think its better to know more about him and let him learn more about me before we really step into the more serious relationship. Well, I gonna keep secrets about me. So all I can say is although he does not look good but I am sure he will be a good lover.
I never know why love things come so fast to me and sometimes I do think that love is like a game. But please do not misunderstood me as a playboy. I do like to spend most of the time on love and I always put it before almost everything and sometimes, even myself. I am thinking of moving to Taiwan and get a brand new life there after 3 years of hard working and life experiencing in Malaysia. So that means I gonna save money and plan well to get the plan succeed. Why do I choose Taiwan? Perhaps its because its a great place to me. I love the style... its like you can be yourself and you do not have to do much lies. What will I work as if I were in foreign country? Well... always the same, a professional stylist.
I have to admit I am an emotional person who spends most of his time on emotional problems and always got himself suffered from these stupid problems! >.< AHHH!!! After writing these emotional things, I feel much better now and peace has return back to me. Honestly, I have been obsessed with Bruno Mars lately. The reasons? Well, he is nice and making great songs and music. He is doing so well and I really love his songs especially Grenade and Just The Way You Are. I have to say something about Grenade. Its touching yet hurting. Its an emotional song and I guess I can understand the feelings in his song. I always love emotional songs and I love to sing these songs although sometimes I really got pulled down (the moods) by the songs.
I do not know what will come to me. All I want is peaceful lifestyle and someone who really cares and loves me will remain loyal and faithful to me. I have been betrayed by someone in love and I do not wanna see the same things happen again. God bless you and you guys! Bye bye~ ^^.
Friday 10 June 2011
Hey, its me AGAIN!
Finally... the relationship problems have been solved. Thanks God! This problem has been interrupting me for days. ^^ so let's talk about happy things. I have stop seeking for true love and I am 'accepting' to be with my admirer and I know its unfair for him that I never love him. And the next thing is, I have been watching Julie and Julia (an American movie) on PPS which really 'inspired' me to improve my blogging skills. I do love wearing false eyelashes lately and please I really have damn LONG eyelashes naturally. However, I like to enchance my eyes with these beautiful falsies! >.< haha! I am lucky to have such beautiful skin and I can even go out without foundation, but please no without eyebrow pencils, loose powder and anything I can find in my personal makeup bag you can find in my small shoulder bag.
Please tell me that you have realized that I am in good mood and thats the truth. I just got myself rescued from lack of items this morning by shopping at IOI Mall. I have the Tea Tree Oil Foam Cleanser from The Body Shop which I really wanted to try it out for a long time (actually its less than a month, haha)! Sorry for no photo showed here, sweeties. Furthermore, I did get some sunblocks (whose are always my BBF) from the pharmacy and some other stuffs. Sometimes, I wonder if anyone is reading on my blog? Oh God, please let me know someday... >.< (AHH!). I have started a new story, Lady Penelope which is an adventurous story. Sometimes, I wish to become a great writer who spends most of his time on writing and keep imaging about the fantastic stories running in his brain NON-Stop! And sometimes I wish to become a professional writer and write about my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings... . I hope this will not just be a dream, I am sure someday I will make it real.
Life is a hard game to me... I am being a big big loser in love and this is like ALWAYS! I have dark past and I never know if I really do have childhood. I desire for love and someone's hug and kiss when I am lonely and feared and terrified and desperated. I am a sensitive boy who is easily terrified by the surroundings and people around me. I never feel the love of family when I was a child. I had spent most of my teenager days alone and I did not have many friends. I was feared to share secrets and this has been continued until now. But I see the lights... I know someday I will get what I want and will meet someone who is willing to die for me and spend his entire life with me... the problem is how long can I live? It's not funny but I actually have a feeling that I will die before 50-year-old and I hope this is not gonna be truth.
To be honest, I am acting most of the time. I speak nicely to the woman who I hated for months. I pretended like nothing has happened to the man even though thats not right at all. I rarely cry in front of anyone as I am feared to show my weaknesses. All these are true.
I am leaving Puchong and heading to my hometown, Kuantan Pahang tomorrow with my relatives. I really missed the days of joys and I hope heading back to hometown will help me building ideas in my brain. If you are smart enough, you should have realized that I did not care much when it comes to writing (but not happening when it comes to story writing). I just write what comes to my brain and how I feeling at the moment. I think writing blog is something which should be done happily and bloggers should enjoy the moment of writing what's in their thoughts. I guess there are too much things in my brain whose just can't wait to be shared with you guys. Anyway, I do hope you have a wonderful day. Do not blame or complain when things turn bad, you shall be happy because some people who are living on the earth just like you and me can't solve even just the simple problems such as eating and drinking. Be happy with who you are and appreciate the ones you really love and use things and eat wisely ^^.
Please tell me that you have realized that I am in good mood and thats the truth. I just got myself rescued from lack of items this morning by shopping at IOI Mall. I have the Tea Tree Oil Foam Cleanser from The Body Shop which I really wanted to try it out for a long time (actually its less than a month, haha)! Sorry for no photo showed here, sweeties. Furthermore, I did get some sunblocks (whose are always my BBF) from the pharmacy and some other stuffs. Sometimes, I wonder if anyone is reading on my blog? Oh God, please let me know someday... >.< (AHH!). I have started a new story, Lady Penelope which is an adventurous story. Sometimes, I wish to become a great writer who spends most of his time on writing and keep imaging about the fantastic stories running in his brain NON-Stop! And sometimes I wish to become a professional writer and write about my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings... . I hope this will not just be a dream, I am sure someday I will make it real.
Life is a hard game to me... I am being a big big loser in love and this is like ALWAYS! I have dark past and I never know if I really do have childhood. I desire for love and someone's hug and kiss when I am lonely and feared and terrified and desperated. I am a sensitive boy who is easily terrified by the surroundings and people around me. I never feel the love of family when I was a child. I had spent most of my teenager days alone and I did not have many friends. I was feared to share secrets and this has been continued until now. But I see the lights... I know someday I will get what I want and will meet someone who is willing to die for me and spend his entire life with me... the problem is how long can I live? It's not funny but I actually have a feeling that I will die before 50-year-old and I hope this is not gonna be truth.
To be honest, I am acting most of the time. I speak nicely to the woman who I hated for months. I pretended like nothing has happened to the man even though thats not right at all. I rarely cry in front of anyone as I am feared to show my weaknesses. All these are true.
I am leaving Puchong and heading to my hometown, Kuantan Pahang tomorrow with my relatives. I really missed the days of joys and I hope heading back to hometown will help me building ideas in my brain. If you are smart enough, you should have realized that I did not care much when it comes to writing (but not happening when it comes to story writing). I just write what comes to my brain and how I feeling at the moment. I think writing blog is something which should be done happily and bloggers should enjoy the moment of writing what's in their thoughts. I guess there are too much things in my brain whose just can't wait to be shared with you guys. Anyway, I do hope you have a wonderful day. Do not blame or complain when things turn bad, you shall be happy because some people who are living on the earth just like you and me can't solve even just the simple problems such as eating and drinking. Be happy with who you are and appreciate the ones you really love and use things and eat wisely ^^.
Wednesday 8 June 2011
My Target!
I just got a sms from my teacher this morning and she said "Symphony of Color Paper Cut". I knew it was the theme of the final exam for Stage. I actually have to complete all five styling exams to get the certificates and whatever it calls. Now I got 3 nearly completed. I am starting the fourth because I got no idea what to do with my 3rd and the first 2 won't be any problem. Ok, just talk about My Target. First, I gonna keep myself from stresses and disturbing problems and thoughts. I am fed up of emotion and relationship problems and I shall put an end to the problems (as soon as I could)... .
I have to confess I have been spending too much time and energy on playing pc games and watching online telly. Haha, just laugh at me if you can ^^. The room is so damn untidy and I guess this will last for a few more days >.<. WHat a shame! I guess I just have to focus more on the exam and try not to make myself feel bad because this is what I was doing to myself (for god's sake!).
I did spend my pleasure time with my schoolmates at KLCC and we do enjoy the times together. And when I got home, I realize how much I have missed. I maybe a loner but I do believe someday someone special will 'delete' that word from me.
Anyway, I do hope Alexis which is just me will have weekdays and enjoy my weekends holidays while thinking about the exam thing. I do believe thought and ideas will come to me as long as I keep myself happy and stressless. Have a nice day to everyone of you ^.^.
I have to confess I have been spending too much time and energy on playing pc games and watching online telly. Haha, just laugh at me if you can ^^. The room is so damn untidy and I guess this will last for a few more days >.<. WHat a shame! I guess I just have to focus more on the exam and try not to make myself feel bad because this is what I was doing to myself (for god's sake!).
I did spend my pleasure time with my schoolmates at KLCC and we do enjoy the times together. And when I got home, I realize how much I have missed. I maybe a loner but I do believe someday someone special will 'delete' that word from me.
Anyway, I do hope Alexis which is just me will have weekdays and enjoy my weekends holidays while thinking about the exam thing. I do believe thought and ideas will come to me as long as I keep myself happy and stressless. Have a nice day to everyone of you ^.^.
Friday 3 June 2011
My Dreams and My Life
 |
| (Left): 2004, (Right): 2011 |
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| (Left): 2007, (Right): 2011 |
 |
| 2009 |
As you can see, thats me and me in the photos. I am like a butterfly. I have had go through a big transformation and this shall not be the end. I did not have a childhood and I had go through many mistakes and difficulties before I got educated from secondary. My early days at academy were not well yet worst that what I had expected. People usually find me a child with problems who never share problems and childhood nightmares with people and yes, I was. As time passed by, I have grew into a better man with better qualities and personalities. People started to look into me and appreciate and see me as a new growing star. However, I have to thank myself for being a tough person. I nearly got myself suicided when I was a teenager and do trust me I never enjoy what I have experienced.
Now I know life is full of challenges and I shall be a strong man to continue walking in my very own style and do what I really wanted to. I am not a boy but I am still not a man. I always believe in friendship as it has turned to be the best thing in my life. Love is something tough for me. I may be tough to others but I did act like the weakest boy in the world when I fall in love with someone. I have been through a few love mistakes and difficulties and big failures.
I have a dream.... I wish to become a famous person and help people with the power and wealth I have. I wish to have my very own cosmetic and skin care brand for everyone. I wish people can listen to my voice and feel what I am feeling when I am singing. I want to become a famous stylist with talents. I wanna become an inspiring writer for the new generation and the beautiful world. I maybe a nobody at this moment but I know someday I will become a star.... ^^ just hope and do the best!
I hope everyone can be beautiful and confident like me. Have a nice day~. ^,^
My Mood at this moment....
Everything was going well before this moment. You can sense the happiness and joyful personality in me from my new profile picture. I got no idea why do I let someone who I just met for less than a month to ruin my mood and this has been happening since the very first time. I am thinking maybe I am just deeply attracted to that person or maybe I am not good and strong enough to let it go. I knew this will not be a good relationship. I am feeling vulnerable now and I really wish to have it ended. Love is passion and patience. I have learnt the importance of the sentence but I still get myself down and emotional.
Well, let's forget about the stuffs that I have just said. I am happy with this new 'toy' or blog. I had a few blogs but I left them 'dead' and I don't even know where to find them now (ahaha!). I am facing my final exam and this is really interesting to me. I will soon become a professional stylist and I just can't wait to work as one! I wish I will not be underdog. I have been one before I got graduated from secondary school. ^^ so hope for good days and do the best I could!
I know I will miss the sweet moments I spent with the adorable beautifying tools and products!! >.< please allow me to show you some, babe (hehe).
Well, let's forget about the stuffs that I have just said. I am happy with this new 'toy' or blog. I had a few blogs but I left them 'dead' and I don't even know where to find them now (ahaha!). I am facing my final exam and this is really interesting to me. I will soon become a professional stylist and I just can't wait to work as one! I wish I will not be underdog. I have been one before I got graduated from secondary school. ^^ so hope for good days and do the best I could!
I know I will miss the sweet moments I spent with the adorable beautifying tools and products!! >.< please allow me to show you some, babe (hehe).
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| My good friend plus school mate, Yummy is creating a look on me and I am being modeling for her at the moment. |
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| I did this makeup on my second elder sister to enchance her beauty and make her eyes much, much bigger! hehe. |
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| I did this. It may not be perfect (I did not put 100% power into the paper work) but its a beautiful paper work. Its for fun. A friend of mine asked for it. |
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| Geisha~~~ |
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| My favourite! I do collect this~ Paris Hilton fake eyelash! |
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| Another expectation~~~ all I love is this elegant makeup done by my good friend. |
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| Please do not look into other things. Its all about the makeup~. I know its ugly to style this way. I did not expect for this. haha. |
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| Beautiful~ >.< |
Well, I will learn more about blogging and perhaps my skills will be growing and growing~~~ (people can be greedy) hehe. ^^
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